Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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