I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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