bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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