someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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