Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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