btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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