maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Randomize