I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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