i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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