Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
