i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
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Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
My penis needs a shock collar
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
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I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'