Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.