well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We are all done wearing pants today
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids