ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.