I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.