fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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