Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
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A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
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I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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