Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
