found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
