i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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