Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
