This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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