I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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