In the future we'll all be gay
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
