I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
