no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
