I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
