Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just pynch a tree in the face
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
