So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
