im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
