also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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