My girlfriend figured out who you are.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
