i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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