so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
