i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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