i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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