Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
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