he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
