Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize