great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
