I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
