Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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