Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
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MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
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Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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