ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
