Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."