You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?