ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?