How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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