my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She's the barista slut.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i now understand why vodka
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
