I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
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