So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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