Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
