woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
