Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
