I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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