This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
