i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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