i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We have started to decorate penises.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
