I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
