Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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