3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
