You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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