Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
