she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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