GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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