Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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