using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
