Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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