Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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