I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize