Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures

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(703): View more from Virginia

I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.

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(801): View more from Utah

see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks

(1-801): View more from Utah

wait.... you do what?

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(716): View more from New York

I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies

(612): View more from Minnesota

Stop drinking before 5

(651): View more from Minnesota

Easier said than done

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(812): View more from Indiana

Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?

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(330): View more from Ohio

WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME

(330): View more from Ohio

I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN

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