I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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